2017年2月4日 星期六

絕歌我們都唱

淫 性 通 殺 性,誰 不 絕 歌 ?

一、坐在中佛會辦對面抄筆記,法律人、心理人、滿堂可愛大學生

A法學:

1媒體渲染與犯罪、懶人包大流行的社會群眾理解、社群時代人際關係快速生滅與膚淺化、審判電子化必參考懶人包。

2遺族的忿怒、寫書版稅收入太高引公憤、遺族動員遊說修法讓負刑責年齡下修。

3人類與獸類的死亡/與死亡連結的性愉悅(註:食葷肉也是對屍體產生原欲滿足,透過死亡達到心理快感與身理滿足)/變態心理(例如正對外婆的遺照自慰、在殺貓過程中達到性高潮、對準被害人切下的頭顱射精)/藥物控制/童年多重心理創傷(大量重要事實線索未於書中呈現)

4法律無法解決的事?社工、慈善機構、NGO的愛心介入?針對被社會結構壓迫的弱勢者只要愛心就好;多元包容,讓其發洩,莫給壓力,不要擁抱(擁抱一定會出事),這樣遠遠地觀察、關心就好了。

5媒體獵殺:傳媒追殺弱者只是為了完成正義感。

6對失控的人如何實施社會安全防護?國家救不了罪犯(結構問題、資源有限),是否應由社福、NGO等介入?

7人有時因高度自尊、虛偽、怕被發現虛偽而有強烈的攻擊性。

B心理學:

1發展心理學角度,從幼兒兩三歲起人格特質已幾乎定型。案主從祖母往生以後便自知不正常,但父母渾然不覺不知,在「絕歌」一書中並沒有寫太多心理扭曲的來源/線索。

2案主自知無法與人建立心理關係,受治療、長大成年後拒絕與原生家庭家人共住,清楚認知自己人格違常、不宜與人建立親密關係(無法克制殺死對方的虐待狂衝動)

3要懂得質疑專家,專家的眼光異於常人。

4早期介入:很多青少年覺溝通很累,需要大量資源早期介入。懷疑教育部有無能力早期介入?台灣家庭對外很封閉,事主常反應有話不敢跟父母講。國小教育根本沒培養人格,很多人一輩子不知道情緒如何表達。

C腦醫學/腦科學

腦醫學/腦科學早已確認人類職司權力欲與性欲的大腦區域在同一區塊,性衝動、權力欲、控制欲、屠殺欲、暴力欲的腦神經系統反應與化學物質高度類似,人類本來就有相當比例的性活動具有暴力特質、也有一定範圍的暴力行為有性欲衝動。

不只性欲,食欲在葷食/肉食主流社會本來就將屍體與食欲制約串連,死亡的屍塊做為食物本來就能引爆大量進食人口高度的感官愉悅反應,甚至有美食主義者執著美食執著到公開宣稱滿足食欲遠比滿足性欲重要,可以禁慾無性卻萬萬不可欠缺美食。

 二、半倚書店閒適的靠窗小桌,翻閱小拉拉大方拆封的18禁犯罪學大作

她好年輕,小到夠當我女兒的年紀。我說我想試讀,她輕巧亮出美工刀一把俐拆。我用什麼表情過那三、四小時?細讀推毃前半本,翻跳散漫混完後半本。

坐在彼岸,受手同類,閱讀同類,分析同類。邏輯太殘忍又太無用;我明白那本看起來已經誠實自剖到限制級的暢銷書其實壓抑太多離經叛道到完全不敢付諸文字、出版印刷的第一現場真相。社會對真相的容忍度超低,對謊言的接受度超高;過分忠於心理無明黑暗又犯下重罪、框入司法系統的罪人再怎麼後知後覺也會充分感知到。犯罪美學也好,SM變態人格自覺與治療也好,案主最後還是被社會機制消音了。消音,很多虛偽,大幅妥協,繼續活下去的代價。

半本該誠實的不夠誠實,剩半本流水帳又無法全盤爆料的社會改造工程就懶得多花時間了。人生的確如此,挑明語言溝通全是浪費時間就不如沉默並完全中止交流。說話與讀書都講求經濟效益,畢竟每個人一條命,人生剩下的寶貴時間本來就不太多,死亡前的時間要留給每個人認為值得相處與交流的對象。師父生前一對一規定我要修普賢十大願,第九大願「恒順眾生」只要如法如律絕對以配合眾生為原則:絕頂社交與終極收攝都行。

那天下午陽光很強,每輛奔馳、路過、逗留的汽車都折射出刺眼的光芒。公車廣告很歡快,打廣告的自然人與法人拼命花錢換搶錢。放下「絕歌」歇心時我總側臉遙望,思考我們的命運與選擇。一個法師跟一個罪犯的人生哪有什麼交集?有。我不認為我跟他有什麼不一樣。我沒有更神聖、更高級、更純潔、更無暇、或離罪業更遠一點點。

讀完它,還給小拉拉,謝謝她。她害羞地收下書,安靜地、認真地工作,盡心盡力服務所有光臨的愛書人。就跟我當年一樣。

三、暗黑無明的出口

被師父親口「祝願」必下地獄無疑的地獄先修者這麼自剖,說「每個人都需要出口」。「出口」者,對她而言就是不斷搬弄大量是非害慘一堆人的簡潔藉口。典型危險犯罪型邊緣人格對不對?

社會上有太多人走過「典型危險犯罪型邊緣人格」的心境,但是有高比例懂得假借社會組織結構或國家機器運作容許的發洩管道抒壓解悶。最明顯又最常見的方法就是藝術創作。藝術創作中可以自由發揮犯罪心理的絕佳介質就是有辦法通過國家審查門檻的暗黑心靈類歌詞創作。

例一:Smells Like Teen Spirit(originally by Nirvana)

Load up on guns and bring your friends
It's fun to lose and to pretend
She's over bored and self-assured
Oh no, I know a dirty word

Hello, hello, hello, hello
Hello, hello

I'm worse at what, what I do best
And for this gift I feel blessed
Our little group has always been
And always will be until the end

Hello, hello, hello, hello
Hello, hello

With the lights out it's less dangerous
Here we are now, entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now, entertain us

Hello, hello

With the lights out it's less dangerous
Here we are now, entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now, entertain us
Yes

A mulatto, an albino, a mosquito, my libido
A denial, a denial, a denial, a denial, yes
A denial

例二:Creep(Radiohead)

When you were here before,
Couldn't look you in the eye,
You're just like an angel,
Your skin makes me cry,
You float like a feather,
In a beautiful world,
I wish I was special,
[Album version:] You're so fucking special.
[Clean version:] You're so very special.

[Chorus:]
But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo,
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here.

I don't care if it hurts,
I want to have control,
I want a perfect body,

I want a perfect soul,
I want you to notice,
When I'm not around,
[Album version:] You're so fucking special,
[Clean version:] You're so very special,
I wish I was special.

[Chorus:]
But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo,
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here.

Oh, oh

She's running out again,
She's running out...
She run run run run...
Run...

Whatever makes you happy,
Whatever you want,
[Album version:] You're so fucking special,
[Clean version:] You're so very special,
I wish I was special...
But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo,
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here,
I don't belong here.

例三:Bohemian Rhapsody(Queen)

Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide,
No escape from reality.

Open your eyes,
Look up to the skies and see,
I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy,
Because I'm easy come, easy go,
Little high, little low,
Any way the wind blows doesn't really matter to me, to me.

Mama, just killed a man,
Put a gun against his head,
Pulled my trigger, now he's dead.
Mama, life had just begun,
But now I've gone and thrown it all away.

Mama, ooh,
Didn't mean to make you cry,
If I'm not back again this time tomorrow,
Carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters.

Too late, my time has come,
Sends shivers down my spine,
Body's aching all the time.
Goodbye, everybody, I've got to go,
Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth.

Mama, ooh (any way the wind blows),
I don't wanna die,
I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all.

I see a little silhouetto of a man,
Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the Fandango?
Thunderbolt and lightning,
Very, very frightening me.
(Galileo) Galileo.
(Galileo) Galileo,
Galileo Figaro
Magnifico-o-o-o-o.

I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me.
He's just a poor boy from a poor family,
Spare him his life from this monstrosity.

Easy come, easy go, will you let me go?
Bismillah! No, we will not let you go. (Let him go!)
Bismillah! We will not let you go. (Let him go!)
Bismillah! We will not let you go. (Let me go!)
Will not let you go. (Let me go!)
Never, never let you go
Never let me go, oh.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Oh, mama mia, mama mia (Mama mia, let me go.)
Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me, for me, for me.

So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye?
So you think you can love me and leave me to die?
Oh, baby, can't do this to me, baby,
Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here.

(Oh, yeah, oh yeah)

Nothing really matters,
Anyone can see,
Nothing really matters,
Nothing really matters to me.

Any way the wind blows.

例四:I Started A Joke(Bee Gees)

I started a joke, which started the whole world crying
But I didn't see that the joke was on me, oh no

I started to cry, which started the whole world laughing
Oh, if I'd only seen that the joke was on me

I looked at the skies, running my hands over my eyes
And I fell out of bed, hurting my head from things that I'd said

Til I finally died, which started the whole world living
Oh, if I'd only seen that the joke was on me

I looked at the skies, running my hands over my eyes
And I fell out of bed, hurting my head from things that I'd said

'Til I finally died, which started the whole world living
Oh, if I'd only seen that the joke was on me

眾生,因地上惑業重重的眾生,若非禪定力足以伏無明、斬業種,就要靠語言音聲行為等方法消八識種子。有能力表達者尚可,問題還小,表達能力奇差無比或人際能力過弱者的問題就大了。犯法越軌對這類內收失控又外放無門的人變成惑誘力奇強的有力人生選項。

絕歌我們都唱;犯罪造孽只是其中一種逼到邊緣極致的尖銳哀鳴。

四、顛倒時序

為了方便社會控制下極大化集體自由,這裏的文稿絕大多數經過刻意打亂時序的書寫安排。打亂時序,空間與人員難以重建現場,保證再過幾年作者本人都忘東忘西無法梳理歷史時序與精準地標,不論發文與否或文案優劣巧拙都無涉他人。

狀似理智的讀書人,威儀正色鎖眉深思。明明在心裏走過灰暗無光的記憶幽谷,放下書回頭還是可以擺出社交常規笑整日。我不是社會控制洗腦成功且社會制約效果良好的典型樣本嗎?把社會壓力、道德管制、法治框架、宗教教規重重層層內化到自我管制成為日常。

不唱就不唱。






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