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2026/02/25

考試與告別:Time To Say Goodbye (Con Te Partiro)


Time To Say Goodbye (Con Te Partiro) (Solo Version)

我的師兄弟與我一起路考,難得同車,也是此生唯一的一次。他的世俗年紀堪當我的叔叔,但有鑒於當年我的外表像個十三歲的青春期華裔少女,實際上坐身旁的他「看起來」像是我的叔公。

一起拿國際駕照之外的第二張駕照,又是出名的難考的路考,我們都很緊張。為對治緊張,我準備好一張從公立圖書館借來的天后級歌劇CD從頭播放到尾,他則用嚴肅的表情開講有嚴重反差萌的笑話。佛學素養深厚、有能力一口咬定師父取的法名乃期許「大覺金仙」(通常佛學基底不好或個性欠揍的人只會一直戲論「仙女」二字,不曉得古印度人亦以仙人稱呼佛陀:金色仙)的他不談出家後的佛研所當年勇,而是談出家前的研究所當年勇。他說,他出身富有的俗家,年紀輕輕就被父母送出國,在海外買房子給他住、買跑車給他開;因此,雖然身為華裔,他就像個豪門王子似的被各種外國女孩追求,女人緣超好。「很多女生喜歡我!沒辦法,那時年輕,我又長得很帥。」他那張飽經風霜的「叔公臉」正經八百地用激似開示中道實相觀與諸佛列祖傳心法要的嚴肅神情無問自說桃花運想當年,自讚自帥,一臉認真。我自然是坐在他身邊笑翻了。

很多年後,當我年復一年老去,快到老到像他當年陪考時的年紀時,居士突然告訴我他往生的消息。「師父,我們一起去參加公祭告別式上香吧?我跟他有很深的因緣,」居士邊說邊眼框溼潤著,「我去訂平雲的房間,我們一人一間,然後祭拜完隔天在平雲用個午齋再回來。」「好啊!」我立刻回答。怎麼就這樣往生了呢?一聽他的法名,我的腦海八識田立刻重播那張路考CD,一首又一首經典詠嘆調。身為豪門貴公子的他陪我聽歌劇消除緊張感自是沒問題;歌劇乃中上流社會習以為常的生活音樂教育,也是國中生、高中生音樂課必修必背必考項目之一。

我那一句「好啊」頗有捨命陪君子的悲壯,以命易命送君一程的犧牲感。實際上,自從中台灣爆發嚴重空氣污染事件、沒完沒了的左岸沙塵暴紫爆事件、當地住民一場又一場的環保陳抗請願以後,有氣喘宿疾的我就不敢踏進中台灣半步。發作最嚴重時連上下樓梯或手提重物在平地行走都有問題,甚至無法用正常人一般腳程速度行走,乃至只有保持平躺的姿勢才不會覺得有缺氧窒息感,哪敢冒死前進中台灣?居士曾半開玩笑警告過我:「師父啊,萬一您發作氣喘昏倒沒關係,當下人工呼吸就好了。」氣喘這毛病萬一發作後果有多嚴重,可想而知。人工呼吸?太嚴重了!

沒想到,死也要上香的覺悟隔天一大早就化為烏有。居士突打電話通知:「師父,沒辦法,臨時有事不能開車,先取消了!」取消就取消,沒辦法;然而我也同時免了拿命拼搏送君一程的生死機率。雖然也無奈錯過平雲的高級手沖咖啡就是了。

師兄弟啊,您在另一個佛國、另一段人生還有沒有一直高富帥下去呢?縱使還是被很多女生喜歡、被很多女生倒追、身歷無敵女人緣,還是要努力排除萬難來出家哦!

Quando sono solo
Sogno all'orizzonte
E mancan le parole
Sì, lo so che non c'è luce
In una stanza quando manca il sole
Se non ci sei tu con me, con me

Su le finestre
Mostra a tutti il mio cuore
Che hai acceso
Chiudi dentro me
La luce che
Hai incontrato per strada

Time to say goodbye
Paesi che non ho mai
Veduto e vissuto con te
Adesso, sì, li vivrò
Con te partirò
Su navi per mari
Che, io lo so
No, no, non esistono più
It's time to say goodbye

Quando sei lontana
Sogno all'orizzonte
E mancan le parole
E io, sì, lo so
Che sei con me, con me

Tu mia luna, tu sei qui con me
Mio sole, tu sei qui con me
Con me, con me, con me

Time to say goodbye
Paesi che non ho mai
Veduto e vissuto con te
Adesso, sì, li vivrò
Con te partirò
Su navi per mari
Che io lo so
No, no, non esistono più
Con te io li rivivrò

Con te partirò
Su navi per mari
Che, io lo so
No, no, non esistono più
Con te io li rivivrò
Con te partirò

Io con te

2026/02/12

走江湖總是遇得到 Cactus Practice


Cactus Practice

會拿法名開玩笑的出家眾比例不高,尤其是我的法名。通常個性慎重、出家資歷久、佛學底子深厚(出家好幾世)的人事先問過「法名是誰取的」以後就會慎口,但有例外。唯一一個喜歡拿我的法名取笑「仙人掌的仙」的師兄弟跟我同一年出家、同一批受戒。生性搞笑的她被一位非常幽默的住持帶出家,也學會該住持的幽默笑點。

二十幾年前,領監院執事的任內曾跟那位非常幽默的住持結過頗特殊的緣份,因緣甚至結到現在。那位住持出家前是一位世俗學校的老師,他的世俗學生剛好是這裏的前出家住眾之一。雖然不同法脈、不同道場,但一樣是同一世代;剛剛好她的世俗老師是我的同門師兄弟兼資深住持。以世俗學制關係而言,他們是師生關係。但以佛門法脈關係而言,我們三人屬於同一世代。

在有執事嚴格執掌道場植物的一般佛教道場通常不種任何仙人掌,不只不落地,連盆栽也無(佛寺傳統上不種植任何帶刺植物),所以,出家長達二三十年以上的同輩師兄弟講講「仙人掌」純屬口頭戲論。但是外行的居士並不曉得,就會託忙為由送來一大堆仙人掌要求道場幫忙種。

剛送來一大批仙人掌時,我原本想阻止;但觀察因緣後作罷。一則居士是真的沒概念,二則一邊拼命念「仙人掌有刺」又一邊推給別人幫忙種,三則本來就出於挖角動機才做的出格人事安排(說來話長),四則植物來源有爭議。居士私下告訴我是她家裏種太多舊的老仙人掌沒時間照顧,但法師卻告訴我是居士特地花很多錢買新的仙人掌送來,說法不一樣。若我開口擋,不是顯得對方的道場沒教好或沒教基本常識就是造成其他不必要的困擾,最後就睜隻眼閉隻眼隨它去了。

關於挖角,我曾直截問過幾個當事人怎麼不挖別人?答案頗奇特也頗傷人(傷害他人)。那些千奇百怪的答案的核心關鍵都在於著相,執著我長著娃娃臉的年輕外表而嚴重誤判,也苦於教界嚴重高齡化且難覓年輕人。據我的了解,挖角方的需求真正應該鎖定的對象是世俗年齡低於三十歲、出家五年以內、性格特質極度女性化或有世俗婚姻生育經驗、生活人際圈非常單純或俗家取向的女眾法師。有那樣的需求的話,最好的方法是直接剃度新生代出家眾,而且是剃世俗年齡低於三十歲、社會經驗不多的年輕世代。

2024/08/17

我是豬 I Am A Pig


很久以前,老戒師兄弟常常推我去接待政要。我覺得「我很小」,問師兄為什麼。

「你長這樣,容易扮豬吃老虎。」

「……」

原來在師兄心目中我是豬。

更有一說,苛政猛於虎... ... 

2023/11/06

Brother In Law Tapioca 姐夫樹薯

A beautiful day starts from zen-gardening,

美好的一天從農禪開始,

A zen-gardening day starts from harvesting,

農禪的一天從收成開始,

Harvesting starts from digging up Brother In Law Tapioca,

收成從挖姐夫樹薯開始,

All delicious tapioca starts from Golden Tapioca.

好吃的樹薯從黃金開始。

Never knew what the professional's real name is…

居士專家不知其姓名也…

Let's call him Brother In Law!

就叫姐夫吧!







2023/07/08

The Mind Is Moving

Two monks are arguing about a flag.

One says, “The flag is moving.”

The other, “The wind is moving.”

A third walks by and says, “Not the wind, not the flag; the mind is moving.”

~ The Altar-Sutra ~


2023/01/24

Mice Near The Wall

Master Jing once asked Master Hsuan Ming, "What's the real meaning of coming from The West?"

"Well, those mice are near the wall!"

(問如何是西來意。師曰。壁邊有鼠耳。《景德傳燈錄 * 撫州金峯從志號玄明大師》)

Oh, well, speaking of The Wall...


[迷牆] Pink Floyd The Wall 1982


The Show Must Go On

But the new year tradition must go on...


The Wedding Mice l Audio Story l AList l Ready, Action!

They got married in Japan anyway, singing English songs, playing Chinese music!

Why Japan?

Buddha knows!

2022/07/17

BF Talk

One day, my "little boss" in some sort of Dharma Ceremony called me out and started one strange small talk.

"Put this long towel over your head, let me see," she said with a serious look on her face. "Is this how you looked when you had long hair?"

What long hair? I was so confused that I didn't know what to say or how to react to her strange "hair play."

"How did your boy friend call you before? Did he give you a nick-name?" she asked.

"!!!" I was shocked. Oh my Buddha, how on Earth would I know the answer; I have never had any BF in my life! 

"Well, I miss my man," she said, a very sad look somewhat showed upon her boyish face. "I moved out and lived with him for a long time, he said the reason why he loved me is I'm a Nan-Ren Po.(男人婆)He called me Siao-Mei.(小妹) It's really hard for me, I miss my man so much."  

I was super shocked. A tomboy admired by all and praised by all for her MANHOOD was not what people imagined at all; she missed her man, a long-term BF, a husband without official marriage certificate. Oh my Buddha, Oh my Buddha, so many women told me their love affair and sex life just because my face looked so damn girly... 


2022/01/09

Her Name


All I could do is planting her name on this mother land, over and over.

The nonexistent flowers that only grow on hard rocks, on my mind.

Every flower in full bloom means her name to me…

My young mother who will never grow old.


2021/09/06

What is Taiwan?


We live in a modern koan, Taiwan.

(好難得有台灣片絕口不談「正妹」,堅住正念!)


2021/06/30

瘋人院 Madhouse


以前,有一個很惡口的法師,加害整群幾十個法師,很愛罵也很會罵。被她兇惡的臉色與惡口長期加害的法師一一來訴苦,我就問來龍去脈。

她們說,惡口的主角是為感情問題才出家。丈夫私通小三逼她離婚,長相奇醜、性格惡劣的她走投無路才出家。

其中一個法師笑笑地講,他們好幾個長期受辱挨罵,跟老和尚報告。老和尚就專程趕車去那個單位開示。開示什麼呢?她笑說,老和尚直白講那個單位就是一間瘋人院。大聲開示給在場所有法師居士(含常住居士)聽,那裏就是一間瘋人院。

然後呢?我問。

她笑說,後來,那個很惡口的法師有收歛一點,開始改了。雖然嘴壞一時改不過來,還是一直犯,但是,她會想辦法節制,至少知道一天到晚惡口罵人的行為像(是)個瘋子,會把好好的道場變成一間瘋人院。

所謂高僧,是不會打妄語哄瘋子說瘋子很健康的。

如果你哄瘋子很正常、很健康,瘋子就瘋三十年、六十年一直瘋下去,沒有病識感,不會覺察、覺照、覺悟。不知道自己發瘋的人沒有變正常的希望。

2021/06/25

Can dogs understand the Dharma?狗懂佛法嗎?

































僧問佛法,趙州老和尚並沒長篇大論開示。無論誰來問,一律三個字:「喫茶去!」

如果你跟法包講三個字:「去吃飯!」他拔腿就往飯小跑步去,尾巴翹高高地好開心。

佛性平等,禪法圓融!

2021/06/13

Can dogs reach enlightenment? 狗會開悟嗎?


做夢都在笑,法包(包子)夢到什麼好吃的?
























法包會不會明心見性、見性成佛?

會,來世。

等這隻小笨狗轉世為僧。